A Project That May Be A Little Too Big

Hey! Remember that time I blogged regularly? Me neither...

A friend of mine recently posted a link on Facebook to a really great article about burn out. As I read it, I wept because I could totally relate to every word the author was saying. I think this struggle to balance God, work, and rest is the worst in moms, teachers, and other servant leaders. Because you understand that your position requires the best, and you're surrounded by other moms, teachers, and leaders who are blowing the lid off your efforts without breaking a sweat. You see everyone else excelling. And so (out of fear, guilt, pride, who knows why?), you sacrifice a little more of your time to make those super-involved reading center materials. You pull an all-nighter to make sure that you offer a good selection of baked goods at the school fundraiser. You skip your quiet time yet again because you woke up late and needed to write a few more notes before the meeting. There's this pressure to be perfect, and you don't know how other people are doing it. You're killing yourself just to maintain the facade. 

I taught for a year and a half. To be honest, I was burnt out by the end of the 1st 9 weeks. And I can't seem to get it back. I'm afraid to be in that position again--to feel like my job requires me to do more than I can handle. The next 10 points are directly from the article; the author penned them from her experience with burn out in student ministry. (Read the full article here.)

1. Get the rhythm right. It’s actually prayer, play, and work. – Did you notice I inverted the order? Priorities make all the difference.
2. Put God first and foremost in everything. – If I continually invited Him into every aspect of my life, I would have no reason to stress.
3. Allow God to defend you. – God is my defender. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. He’ll do it for me or kindly correct me depending on the circumstances.
4. People who believe they can sleep when they’re dead never really get to fully experience life. – Sleep is so important. I can function on four hours of sleep, but what’s permissible isn’t always beneficial.
5. Rest is a form of worship. – Over the summer, I had to retrain myself to enjoy free time. I’ve never been so thankful for opportunities to exercise, appreciate nature, play my guitar, write, hang out with friends, read, and just explore the awesomeness of the world. Rest is about trusting God enough to take the time to appreciate His blessings.
6. Turn off the technology. – Let’s be honest, I don’t need my Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and three email accounts pushed to my iPhone every five minutes. I tend to idolize technology as in I spend more time with it than I do with God and with people God has placed in my life.
7. It’s okay to say ‘no’. – There is freedom in admitting that you can’t do everything.
8. Be honest with yourself and your friends. – To guard against burnout, I’m inviting more accountability into my life.
9. When you miss out, others are missing out too. – God placed me in my circle of influence to leave an impact. When I’m not fully present, I’m robbing people of what God wants to do in their lives through me.
10. God is God. I am not. – If I remembered who God is and who I am in Him, I would be less likely to work myself to the point of burnout. He is in control, and as long as I follow Him, I’ll be okay.

After reading through the lessons she learned, I realized that my issue with burn out is the result of a larger problem with time management and priorities. I am the worst at spending time with God and dedicating time to rest and time to work. I do a weird rest-work that is completely exhausting, stressful, and inefficient. And time in the Word is tacked on at the end…sometimes...okay, hardly ever. So, I am working on my time management and my priorities.

This goal evolved into a larger collection of things I need to work on, and eventually became a partial list of 25 things to accomplish before my 25th birthday in June. When I finish writing the list, I'll post it on this blog. 

After these past 4 months of feeling completely lost and purposeless, I am intentionally embracing what I know of my purpose now, and not letting life pass me by because I don't have it all figured out. God has given me the amazing purpose of being a wife--a purpose that I have somewhat been neglecting as I was trying to figure out a new career path. (I am so thankful for a patient husband who shows me the love of Christ each day!) And I'm not entirely sure if God doesn't want me in the classroom, again. In the meantime, I'm actively waiting for an answer.

I feel like that was a little heavy, so to balance it out, let me introduce the first project I'm tackling on my list of 25 things:

Isn't she a beauty??

Let me tell you something about myself. I like projects. I like things that have good structure, but just need a little work. I like people that way, too. It's the best feeling in the world to help something or someone realize their potential.

So, I believe my couch has the potential to be this couch:

This West Elm sofa is the most beautiful and the most expensive couch I have ever seen. I love its feminine charm and patterned fabric. Obviously, there are some structural differences between my couch and the West Elm one. No, I'm not going to rebuild my couch. I am, however, going to attempt a block-printed slipcover. Depending on the difficulty of lining up the pattern when constructing the slipcover, this project may just be a plain slipcover. We shall see. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be a poorly written tutorial and a wealth of anecdotes.